top of page

How to Self Care The Real Way (No BS)

Let’s Be Real

If you’re like me, you get frustrated when people say the simple phrase, “it will get better” 🙄. How simple it is to say that when you’re going through a nightmare in real life. I want to share my own thoughts on how to properly self‑care without shortcuts. 🙅🏻‍♀️ I’ll get right to it, it’s a long, hard journey. Nonetheless, it is 100% possible to live a happy, fulfilling life even with multiple traumas and major life changes. That, I can promise you. 🤞🏻 With that said, it takes time. It can take days to decades. ⏳ Rule 1: it doesn’t matter how long it takes as long as it’s possible. Depending on your circumstances, it can take time to feel better (ex: it will be harder but still very possible if surrounded by toxic people or environments). When you take control of your mind, nothing can stop you. 🦸

Just Tell Me the Work

If you truly want this, it will be a lot. Not to mention how tired depression and stress makes you in general. 🥱 This is not a fun thing but don’t worry, it starts to be automatic. The most helpful advice for overthinkers is to say either out loud or in your head, “stop!”. 🛑 Then, do a mindfulness exercise. Oh god, a useless coping skill. That’s what I thought until I researched the science behind it and how it truly changes how your thinking process works. A doctor described to me it’s like taking the path you always know home. It’s what you know. However, when you create a new path, it takes a bit for your footprints to stay on the grass until it creates a new path, but eventually, it will. 👣That’s how mindfulness works. Making your brain think a new way until it becomes as automatic as the last thinking process you had. 🧠Some mindfulness exercises: • name random things you see, hear, smell, feel, taste around you • name exactly where you are starting from your room to galaxy • name random animals or any category This sounds pointless, but it distracts your mind and gets you into a new focus that’s not negative. 🧠Other helpful coping skills: • journal 25 minutes without thinking • exercise atleast 10 minutes • take a cold shower (divers response) • find a hobby • take a walk outside without distractions • Write your own eulogy (yup, dark I know) • Avoid watching scary shows/movies It may not be easy to start but try atleast 1 minute a day even, and add on when you’re ready. 🥰 ❤️ Don’t forget to treat yourself, too! Show yourself love by investing in yourself. • Continue to research self‑care and mindfulness exercises • Eat your favorite food (even if unhealthy 👀 if you can control future urges well or avoid this one if it will cause a trigger) • Have fun! (If healthy) • Buy a lil summin’ summin’ for yourself 🛍

Take a Break, Don’t Quit

You’re going to have bad days. You’re going to take a few days break. I know because I did. It’s hard, let’s be straight up. It’s hard. And you’re doing so amazing because you’re trying. Even if you don’t succeed right away (which is like unheard of anyways), you tried! 🏆

We need to be kindof strict with ourselves. Don’t be mean to your soul, just discipline it a little. Something in the book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, I found genius but easier said than done was to, “detach yourself from your thoughts. Be an observer”. 🔭 Our minds are always attacking us and blowing things out of proportion. We need to be in the present by paying attention to our senses. 👀👃🏻👄👂👏

If you feel you need a break, take it! This is an exhausting process. But we both know you’re going to be upset if that rest turns into weeks and months. To be healthy is to have these boundaries. 🚧

Recovery is a Rollercoaster

What the title says. 🎢 It is. That’s just how recovery is. So don’t put yourself down when you have a hard, stressful day. Avoid saying things that don’t benefit you such as, “Why does this only happen to me?”, “it never ends.”, “Why me?”, etc.

When you have a bad day, take a rest 😴, drink water 💦, eat healthy 🍑, and try atleast 1 coping skill 📝. All these things will make you feel better even though it will take a lot of energy. Mostly rest, but try to keep your mind occupied if it’s running around.

Even if you’re surrounded by toxicity and abuse, (please get help if you are unsafe[links below]) you can be ok if you learn to focus on yourself, and the positives around you ➕. Don’t say there are none, there always is. For one, you’re alive and have this incredibly rare chance of life (like 1 in 7+ billion). You have opportunity to be happy ☺️. No matter your circumstances or what has happened or will happen to you.

You Can Change

Your life can change. In my personal experience, I never thought I’d be who I am today or even be here altogether. Life gives us so many opportunities but they’re blurred from us when all we think is negative thoughts. 🌫 It’s hard with no support, but it is so so possible. Don’t wait for things to happen and kiss more time away. Start now, you can ease your way into it. 🥳 Every day we are given truly is another chance to start progress or add onto it. 🌞 Whatever you face, I know one thing, you have the determination to do this if you read this and I truly believe you can if you take these steps. 🪜 Lastly, I highly recommend finding a therapist who specializes in the area you want fixed. If you have childhood trauma, see only a trauma therapist as others not trained can misdiagnose. It may take a few until you find someone you like; that’s just the reality, it’s like having a best friend. YOU GOT THIS 🥳🥰❤️🏆 ⚠️ Helpful links: • How to Write Your Life Together (Rowena Tsai): • The Power of Now: • National Abuse Hotline: 1‑800‑656‑4673 • List of Hotlines: My Credibility: I have had intensive therapy my whole life due to a traumatic childhood and adulthood to heal my CPTSD, depression, and anxiety. I’ve tried everything and now I am feeling on the right path to living my best life. I have studied Psychology in University. I am not a doctor.


#selfcare #selflove #selflovenobs #selfcarennobs #howtoloveyourself #howtohealfromtrauma #traumarecovery #childhoodtrauma #cptsd #ptsd #howtolovemyself #stepstoloveyourself #ihatemyself #motivationtoselflove #ilovemyself #positivity #emotionalhealing #dbtexercises #mindfulnessexercises #thepowerofnow #rowenatsai #writeyourowneulogy #howtohealdepression #howtohealtrauma #howtogetoveranxiety #healthylife #selflovejourney #selflovefirst #selfloveisfirstlove #selflovewarrior #selflovemovement